'I'm Not Gay No More' REMIX Is The Best Use Of An Ex-Gay Speech Ever

Those who claim to have successfully turned themselves straight through the power of the Lord and Savior are unfortunately not that rare. Speeches sound repetitive and more about convincing the speakers than convincing others. But if we must listen to an ex-gay speech, at least we can do it with a funky techno beat.

In the original video, an attendee at the Church of God in Christ’s 107th Holy Convocation in St. Louis, Missouri over the weekend, a young man who presumably previously identified himself as gay claimed to be “delivered” from homosexuality in the most flamboyant way possible, at least according to a Vine clip acquired by media aggregator Towelroad.

I’m not gay no more. I am delivered! I don’t like mens no more. I said I like women. Women women women women! I said women! I’m not gay! I would not date a man! I would not carry a purse! I would not put on make-up! I will, I will love a women.”

And since nothing says JESUS CHRIST like money in a place of worship, the man was provided with $100 for his “successful” ex-gay “conversion.”

We love you son. You can live for God. Your past is just that, behind you. Better is in front of you. He’s a brand new creature…God said he’s going to bless you because of your commitment. Just to prove it, he just told me to give you $100.

Yeah, because Christ was all about the Benjamins, right? It’s not like He lived in poverty, expected His disciples to generally do the same, and threw a temper tantrum over capitalism in a house of God. Nope. Clearly not.

I’ve heard of gay for pay, but pay for no gay? That’s a new one on me. At least we get this wonderful remix out of it, I guess.