It’s been a whole day since we met Nick and Sarah Jensen, tireless advocates for “straight marriage only” and consummate heroes that will literally divorce if gays are allowed equal rights. Unfortunately, you might have to put a hold on that celebratory parade you were planning in their honor. It turns out that they can’t get a legal divorce.

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According to ABC Australia, the couple won’t be able to actually break their marriage for a dumb-ass reason such as “we don’t like other people doing stuff” because Australian law dictates that a divorced couple must have no plans to continue cohabitation and the Jensens have clearly stated that once they’re divorced they’ll still stay together, live together, and raise their kids together. And, here’s the best part: Dennis Farrar, a family attorney says that the Jensens won’t be able to get a divorce unless they lie about their situation and lying, like divorce, is a no-no according to Christian doctrine.

The Jensens aren’t going to let a tiny thing like the law get in their way. They plan to fight, although they’d much rather not. If only those pesky gays stopped asking for so much shit. You give them one pride parade and look what happens.

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But Mr Farrar said the couple would not have a leg to stand on in any court challenge.

“The Marriage Act covers marriage, the Family Law Act covers divorce. And there is one and only one ground for divorce,” he said.

“It’s not a question of a contract with the state, it’s not even a contract between the husband and the wife.”

Mr Jensen said he believed the prospect of divorce was still far off, and he was focused on preventing marriage equality from becoming law.

“It’s not a protest in my eyes, we’re not just threatening to do this. It’s just something we’re explaining is the consequence of any change in legislation,” he said.

Good to see the Jensens are focusing on the important issues like being non-apologetic bigots and not idiotic things like teaching their kids about acceptance and loving your neighbor/fellow man.


Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.

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Image via Canberra City News